The Big Gay Conversion
by Scorpio71
Summary: It was on Thursday that Leroy Jethro Gibbs woke up gay.


DISCLAIMER: NCIS belongs to CBS & Belisarius Productions.

PAIRING: none really, hints of multi-ship pre-slashyness

RATING: T+

AUTHOR NOTES: A reworking of the old fanfic standby 'character x wakes up gay'. I figured, why stop at one character? Let's gayify the whole NCIS Universe.

SUMMARY: It was on Thursday that Leroy Jethro Gibbs woke up gay.

_

* * *

_

Big Gay Conversion

_by Scorpio_

* * *

It was on Thursday that Leroy Jethro Gibbs woke up gay.

Oddly enough, he didn't really notice the change in himself right at first. While he wouldn't admit it aloud, he privately thought it was due to the lack of caffeine in his system upon first waking up. His coffee maker was on a timer, so he had stumbled downstairs blurry-eyed and half asleep. He had quickly downed two mugs before turning around and heading directly for the shower. It was there, in the hot and steamy confines of his tiled shower stall that he realized what had happened.

And by realize, he meant that he caught himself stroking his soapy erection to thoughts of a naked and flirty Tony DiNozzo.

That had never happened before, despite the persistent rumor in the evidence garage that Tony had slept his way into his position as Senior Agent. Everyone who knew Tony and the situation was well aware that the rumor was just payback for him referring to the evidence techs as 'baggy bunnies' and 'evidence gremlins'. Tony had earned his job due to his quick mind, good instincts, and unending bravery. It had nothing to do with his handsome face, tight body, and sexy smile. In fact, until this morning, Gibbs had never really noticed those things beyond an intellectual acknowledgment and amusement over watching women react to him.

Being one of the people that reacted, that was new. And slightly awkward. Especially as he felt like he should be berating himself for fantasizing about Tony, but he couldn't help visualize the man kneeling in front of him and sucking his dick. That mental image was enough to finish him off and he shuddered his way through a truly intense orgasm.

Afterward, he finished showering, and then got dressed for the day. He vaguely waited for the guilt to hit him, but it didn't. Instead, he found himself far more dismayed by the state of his wardrobe. Somehow, the collection of faded polo shirts and cheap suits just didn't seem adequate. He stood there frowning and tried not to envy Tony's collection of silk, linen, wool, and high thread count cotton.

Then he rolled his eyes at himself and huffed out a sigh. He'd never been a clothes-horse and tended towards the cheaper end of casual as was appropriate for any situation. There was no reason for him to change now. Still, he couldn't help but want to look his best and choose his clothes with much more care than he normally did.

Finally ready to go to work, Gibbs filled up his travel mug with the last of his coffee and armed himself. Then he stepped out of his house and walked over to his car where it was parked in the driveway. One of the neighbors from down the block, Mrs. Polansky, was out walking her dog as she did every morning. She waved to him and he waved back even as he unlocked his car door. He watched her curvy form sashay past in those tight little exercise shorts and waited for his cock to stiffen in his pants. After all, she was a good looking woman and he'd entertained more than a few naughty thoughts about her over the years. Despite his newfound gayness, Gibbs was surprised when he failed to get even a partial erection at the sight of her ripe bottom.

A brand new attraction to Tony was one thing; a lack of same for Mrs. Polansky was something entirely different. This was going to take some getting used to.

* * *

It had started on Monday with no warning or explanation whatsoever.

Rough estimates suggest that on Monday morning about a fifth of the population of Washington DC, New York City, Chicago, Miami, and Las Vegas all woke up gay. This gayness included a complete shift in sexual preference from heterosexuality or bisexuality to total homosexuality for all persons affected. Some people experienced a shift in personality, a shift in random likes and dislikes, or a shift in priorities as well. No one reported a sudden urge towards criminal or violent tendencies, but most people were agitated, confused, or frightened.

Most damning of all was that no group or organization was claiming credit for doing anything to alter so many people in such an intimate way. Oh, there were plenty of conspiracy theories and lots of oddball ideas floating around about the cause, but no one was certain what had brought about the Big Gay Conversion.

Some people were claiming that it was God that had done it as a way to disprove all of those bible thumping homophobes that were encouraging hatred and prejudice. Some people claimed that it was a defense mechanism of Mother Nature since there were far too many humans over-populating the planet and threatening complete eco-disaster fighting over dwindling resources. One group of conspiracy lunatics were insisting that it was all a social experiment being conducted by aliens, and oddly enough, this theory was quickly gaining popularity. Gibbs' personal favorite was that some well funded group of black bag scientists had lost control of some viral agent meant to be a part of some eugenics program and now it was mutating people into homosexuals.

Tim McGee had been the first member of his team to succumb to the Big Gay Conversion. He had stumbled into the office Monday morning blushing bright red and wearing an expression of extreme shock and confusion. He had spent most of the morning alternating between staring at Tony while drooling and looking off into middle space while being horrified.

When Gibbs had finally had enough of it, he had stomped over to Tim's desk, loomed over the distracted man, and barked out a demand for him to get it together. Tim had blushed brightly, squeaked, and then went deathly pale. He had then quickly excused himself and dashed off to the morgue promising to have Ducky look him over.

Not the best way to start the work week.

They had barely been halfway through an awkward lunch when the reports started coming in. Domestic violence, suicides, fighting and multiple AWOL sailors were reported from every base in the city. It was chaos and all of the teams were kept extremely busy all day. Tim was mostly able to keep it together, but he was a stuttering and blushing wreck around Tony and had taken to, literally, tie-toeing around Gibbs.

At the end of a long hard day, Gibbs' had begun regretting the fact that Ziva was no longer with them. Tim had been off his game all day, and that had forced Tony and himself to take up the slack. Normally not a problem, but the day had been crazy from lunch onwards.

He had just sent Tim for take-out and set Tony to tracking down leads when Vance called a meeting of all the supervisors and team leads. Stifling the urge to ignore the Director and keep working, Gibbs had grabbed up copies of the preliminary reports and case notes from the two calls they had gotten today; one murder and one AWOL sailor.

That meeting turned out to be the first hint Gibbs had of the Big Gay Conversion. According to Vance, and confirmed by a few team leads, the massive upswing in case loads that appeared so suddenly was not limited to the military. The LEO's were being swamped as well. Oddly, almost all of the cases seemed to have some link to the gay community or someone being outed as being gay. At first glance it seemed like a huge coincidence, but people were beginning to wonder.

Gibbs had finally sent Tim and Tony home late that night after finding their AWOL sailor. Apparently the man had suffered a huge breakdown and fled in a panic to the hospital and demanded to be checked into the psych ward. Unfortunately, in his desperation to be cured of his craziness, he had forgotten to inform his superior officer or go through the chain of command. Due to the seriousness of his situation and the fact that he had been seeking help of a medical nature, he had merely been given a mild reprimand and his case was being followed up by transferring him to Bethesda.

Their other case, the murder, had a few leads that could be followed up with in the morning. So far, it seemed to be a crime of passion and not a cold blooded and well thought out assassination. Gibbs already had a fair idea of who had done it, and he was pretty sure that Tony had come to the same conclusion. It was just a matter of finding the guy. He didn't have any idea what Tim thought. The man had been on edge all day.

With that thought in mind, Gibbs had gone to Ducky and demanded an explanation of what his earlier physical had turned up. According to him, Tim was as healthy as ever. He had noted, as an aside, that Tim had seemed unusually agitated and distressed, but he had refused to elaborate why.

* * *

Tuesday hadn't been any better.

Tim didn't appear to have gotten any sleep if the dark circles under his eyes were any indication. His blushing and stuttering had eased up a bit, but only until Tony started teasing or flirting and then Tim locked up again like a shy highschool geek trying to work up the nerve to ask his crush out on a date. That comparison didn't sit too well with Gibbs once he caught Tim shooting Tony mooning looks of longing. Truthfully, Gibbs didn't care if the man was a little light in the loafers as long as the job got done. He considered dating co-workers a no-no for a reason, and Tim's distraction over Tony was a perfect example.

To make matters worse, Agent Balboa had taken to walking about the agency with a stunned look on his face as if someone had smacked him upside the head with a fish. Normally a swift thinking and self-disciplined man, Gibbs had overheard one of the Admins asking him if he was okay. Balboa had responded with a quietly hummed, "Ummm" before he had turned and walked away quickly.

Not really a good sign to see in another team lead.

Still, weirdness aside, the morning had gone swiftly. They had caught up to their murderer easily enough. The man hadn't really tried to hide. Gibbs had gotten a confession with little effort as the man, Seaman Tom Conley, was ashamed of his own actions anyway. Apparently, his bunk mate, Seaman Jeff Weston, had cornered him in the head and confessed his undying love and then tried to grope Conley in some inappropriate places. Conley had panicked and shoved his friend away. The love struck man had slipped on the wet tile, fallen, and bashed his head on the sink. Scared and upset, Conley had done a runner and hadn't even been aware that Weston had died from his head injury until NCIS had found him.

While they had been typing up their reports on the case, Tony had sent him an IM asking if he thought Tim was acting strange. Apparently, Tim had taken to walking up to Tony and sniffing him. Gibbs had wondered how he missed that development and considered informing his second that Tim was also checking out Tony's ass whenever he got the chance, but decided against it. Instead he made a snarky comment about Tony's cologne and reminded him about Rule 12. That had earned him an odd look from DiNozzo.

The ink was barely dry on the last report when they got a call in from the local LEO's. Apparently a marine on leave went to one of the local gay clubs and started a huge brawl while accusing the clientele of 'turning him gay'. There was quite a bit of property damage, several folks in the hospital, one of which might not live. The lead detective on the force suspected drugs.

He had sent Tony to go collect the marine and have his blood tested by Ducky and Abby while he took Tim to the club in order to process the scene and get witness statements. The marine, Lance Corporal Jonathan Timber, had done an impressive amount of damage. He had also managed to convince a large group of people that the military's stance of 'Don't ask, don't tell' was turning capable young men into self-hating homicidal maniacs. Not the best image for the Corps or the Navy to project.

What had happened was fairly cut and dried. The why was something else. According to Abby, Timber's blood work all came back normal and the Lance Corporal swore up and down he hadn't taken anything or drank anything. Apparently, he had just woken up that morning to discover that he no longer was attracted to women and was, in fact, very gay. He had not been amused by his sudden change in sexual orientation and had gone out to punish the people that had done this to him.

It was heading towards quitting time and Gibbs had been considering putting in a request for a mental evaluation of Timber when CNN had broadcast a startling and disturbing report. Hundreds, possibly thousands, of people in DC, NYC, Chicago, Miami and Las Vegas were reporting a sudden and intense shift in their sexual orientation.

They offered up a brief rundown of the reported symptoms as well as some extreme examples of how people were reacting. Apparently, DC wasn't the only city awash with murders, mayhem and panicking people running about thinking that they'd suddenly gone crazy. The reports did vary on when the symptoms manifested. Some people claim to have woken up gay on Monday morning, while others state that it didn't happen until Tuesday.

The entire squadroom had been deathly silent throughout the entire report as everyone watched with morbid fascination. To some it seemed to explain so much while to others it was beyond bizarre. That's when Gibbs' world tilted on its head.

"Um, Boss?" He turned to see Tim standing there all pale and shaky while biting on his bottom lip. "I,… I,…" He took a deep breath and visibly braced himself. "I think that's what happened to me."

Tony's head whipped around so fast Gibbs swore he heard the man's bones creak.

Tim seemed to shrink in on himself a bit. "I'm…I'm sorry Boss, it's…"

Gibbs sighed. "Is this going to effect how you do your job, McGee?"

Tim glanced up and over at Tony, blushed deeply, then shook his head. "No Boss."

Gibbs nodded once, decisively. "Good. I don't care what you do in your bedroom, McGee. Nor do I care who you do it with. Just keep it at home and do your job right. That's all I ask."

Tim almost seemed to melt in relief. "Yes Boss." He hesitated and then blushed again. "Thanks."

Gibbs had nodded again and then grabbed a file. He barked out an order for everyone to get back to work and things were normal again. Well, at least what seemed to pass for normal lately.

* * *

Wednesday had been the day that both Tony DiNozzo and Jimmy Palmer woke up gay.

Jimmy had not so much 'come out of the closet' about his new gayness as he stumbled out with his pants around his ankles and his erection waving proudly in the air. Apparently one of the forensic techs down in the garage had woken up gay on Monday and wanted to spend his coffee break kissing and groping Ducky's assistant. Jimmy not only thought that was a great idea, he'd found them an out of the way closet to do it in. Unfortunately for them the lock on the door hadn't been completely engaged and when the two of them leaned against it, it had swung open and deposited them both half-naked on the hallway floor.

Recent rumor had it that Jimmy was surprisingly gifted in certain ways and he was quickly gaining in popularity. Ducky didn't care if his assistant batted for the other team, but he wasn't thrilled with what he termed 'randy young men' swinging in and out of Autopsy.

Tony's way of letting everyone know of his new gayness was not so much more subtle then Jimmy's than it simply involved less nudity.

Gibbs's had gotten a caf!pow and taken it down to Abby's lab. There were a few things he wanted to go over with her in regards to Lance Corporal Timber before he finished up the last of the paperwork on the case. When he got there, he found her and Tony chatting quietly by her computer station.

"I think I caught the Probie's gayness."

Gibbs had stopped short in shock at those words even as Abby sighed and shook her head slightly.

"Tony, you can't catch homosexuality. It's not a contagious disease, ya know!"

Tony snorted, tipped his head down and gave her a pointed look. "Tell that to CNN. Tens of thousands of people are reporting in suddenly gay from several cities across the country." He held up a hand to stop her before she was able to do more than open her mouth to argue. "And don't tell me it's 'cause of aliens again."

Abby pouted for a second and then bounced on her toes and grinned a wicked sort of grin up at his second in command.

"So…Tony, how did you come to the conclusion that you're suddenly gay." She waved a hand in the air between them. "I mean, you gotta admit it's a shocking thought, what with you being such a…a…" she shrugged, "womanizer."

"Hey!" Tony affected a mock hurt look. "I am not a womanizer."

Now it was Abby's turn to shoot Tony a pointed look. He had the grace to look mildly ashamed and shrugged.

"Yeah, okay. Still, I had the most…um, strange dreams last night." He leered. "Good ones, but strange."

Abby rolled her eyes. "Tony, strange dreams don't mean anything. I think that could be explained away by all the cases lately, not to mention what's all over the news. That's actually kinda normal, I guess. I mean, it has to have been on your mind when you fell asleep, right?"

"Possibly." Tony didn't look convinced.

He must have shifted or made a noise because suddenly both Abby and Tony turned and looked at him. He had to force himself not to blush at the attention.

"Morning Gibbs!" Abby bounced over to him. "That for me?"

He smiled and handed over the caf!pow. Abby beamed a smile up at him and then took a large sip of the soda.

"Oh yeah," Gibbs looked over at the husky sound of Tony's voice just in time to see him adjust himself in his silk slacks. "Oh so very gay." And then Tony was heading over towards him.

Gibbs had seen Tony stalk women like a lion hunting a gazelle plenty of times. It usually left him vaguely amused to watch the younger man in action. Of course, he had never been the gazelle before.

It was oddly intimidating and flattering to have Tony saunter over and press into his personal space while purring out "Morning Boss" in a voice deep and rough with arousal. Tony's hands came up to smooth out the collar of Gibbs' suit jacket and he couldn't help but think that was just an excuse for Tony to fondle his chest. Tony's head dipped toward him slightly and he breathed in deeply. "Mmmm, you look amazing today."

It took everything he had not to either blush or step back.

"Are you hitting on me, DiNozzo?" he growled.

"Me Boss?" Tony winked, "Now would I do that?"

And then with a growl of his own that was more purr than anything else, Tony turned on his heel and stalked out of the lab. Gibbs turned his head to find Abby staring at him with wide eyes and her lips in a little O of surprise.

The day had only gotten weirder from there.

It was probably a good thing that they had gotten a case so early in the day. Gibbs didn't want to know what would have happened otherwise, but he was fairly sure that it would have involved Tony being found in the same type of compromising situation as Palmer. Most likely with Tim.

Being gay hadn't affected Tony's ability to be a complete horndog with the morals of an ally cat. Tim, while a good deal more reserved and shy, had no real defense against a Tony DiNozzo on the prowl and in full flirting mode. If they hadn't been out of the office most of the day, Gibbs was pretty certain that his Senior Field Agent would have ended up deflowering his Junior Field Agent in some out of the way closet. And that really wasn't a mental image he needed in his head.

On the other hand, the case they got was a real corker and had lots of interesting twists to sink their teeth into. The call had come in from DC Metro. Apparently a bunch of gangbangers had a shoot out in one of the more drug infested slums. While this was a sadly normal part of big-city life, what had brought NCIS into the picture were their weapons. It just wasn't normal for street dealers to carry military grade weaponry. It didn't take too long to discover the guns had come out of Quantico and had been scheduled for destruction. The LEO's would handle to gangbangers and their shot-em-up. Gibbs and his team were going to track down the Marines that were smuggling guns into the city.

When they got back to NCIS he sent Tim to checking the database records from Quantico's armory and had Tony following up leads and paper trails by phone while he updated Vance and checked in with Abby. It was on his way back upstairs to the squadroom that he chanced to overhear Tim and Tony chatting.

"Ya know Tony, I…I think I'm getting a handle on this gay thing, but…"

There was a brief pause and then Tony's voice was whisper soft, "But what, Probie? You're doing fine."

A soft huff of mild exasperation. Gibbs was sure it was because Tim had been called Probie.

"Well, it's just…different. Ya know? I mean, I'm not real sure what to…well, do."

"Do? I don't think there's much you can do. Just accept it and move on. It's not like there's a cure you can take and go back to being straight, right? At least, I hadn't heard there was."

"No…not that. Although you're right, there isn't a cure. It's just…" and Gibbs thought Tim wasn't going to finish that sentence for a moment. "Well, for instance, I was thinking about pulling up some internet porn last night. But then I realized that if the worse case happened then my system would be checked out and it'd be all over it. That's just not going to happen."

Gibbs was pretty sure Tim was blushing bright red at the very idea of someone finding gay porn on his computer.

"So, I went to an adult bookstore to buy some magazines, or perhaps an instruction manual. They were nearly sold out! I guess lots of guys had that idea too."

A soft snort of laughter from Tony. "Okay, I guess I see your point about your computer, although you shouldn't be so worried. First off, nothing's going to happen to you. Gibbs wouldn't let you up and die on him. He'd kill you himself if he even thought you'd attempt to get killed in the line of duty without his permission."

Twisted Tony logic, but very true nonetheless.

"And if the worst did happen, no one would dare go through your computer until after Abby's had a chance to sanitize it. Standing orders since the Director knows that you routinely perform illegal hacks. So don't worry about it. Your back's covered. As for any of your porn, I plan to inherit it all, so don't worry about that either. No matter what media it's in."

And Gibbs could practically hear the smirking leer in Tony's voice. He'd lay money on the bet that Tim was currently rolling his eyes.

"The magazine thing is a good idea though. I seriously need to update my own porn collection. When I was down at Metro this morning doing the whole liaison thing, I saw a centerfold pinup. July, 2006." A regretful sigh. "Don't get me wrong. She was beautiful, but it was the same way you'd look at a Cézanne and think 'what a beautiful painting' or a Renoir and think 'what a beautiful sculpture'. There was nothing, I don't know,…sexual about it."

"Tony…you're the only person I know who could seriously compare master artworks by Cézanne and Renoir with porn." A brief pause. "And mean it."

A startled laugh. "Yeah. I'm special that way."

Gibbs heard Tim snort and then there was a long pause. He almost thought the chat was over but then Tony spoke up.

"As for an instruction manual…do they really make those? For sex?"

An exasperated sigh. "Yeah Tony, they do. And that's just it. I don't know what to do. I mean, I've never done anything like that, but I…well, I have all these strange urges and…and cravings now."

"Ha!" Gibbs nearly flinched at the force of Tony's voice. "I know that first year you were here I teased you a bit about being a McVirgin, but I never actually thought it was true. And even if it had been, I know for a fact that you've sexed up the lovely Miss Abigail. More than once. So don't try and tell me you don't know how to have sex."

"That was with a woman Tony. Not a man." Tim's voice was so dry and yet paradoxly dripped sarcasm. It was a neat trick.

A brief pause. Gibbs could practically picture the confused look on Tony's face.

"Um, Probie. Sex is sex. You kiss, you cuddle, you lick and nibble. You occasionally smear your partner with whipped cream. What's not to know?"

And on that note he knew it was time to interrupt. Before Tony offered to demonstrate. Biting back his grin and pasting a blank expression on his face, Gibbs stepped around the partition wall. And nearly laughed out loud at the dumbstruck look on Tim's face. He was willing to bet it was the whipped cream comment that did it.

"DiNozzo! Report!"

And that had been enough to get Tony and Tim back on track and back to work.

As interesting as the case was, it didn't hold a candle to the fascination everyone showed CNN when they covered a brief speech by the President about the current situation. While they still didn't have an answer from the scientists and medical officers about why tens of thousands of people across five cities had suddenly woken up with a completely altered sexual preference, the government had still managed to make some decisions.

After a few emergency sessions and hurried votes, they had declared homosexuality legal for both citizens and the military. This made sense because they'd lose a large chunk of the armed forces in the DC area alone if they didn't. Including most of the Pentagon. Being gay would no longer involve a dishonorable discharge and discrimination over jobs, insurance and housing would now be effectively punished. A debate over legalizing gay marriage was scheduled for upcoming sessions.

Gibbs was fairly sure that he could hear a huge sigh of relief echo across the entire Navy Yard over the speech. Most of the teams knocked off early if they could. A lot of people wanted to celebrate the fact that they were no longer looking down the barrel of a gun in the form of being kicked out of the military over their new sexuality.

* * *

And all that chaos eventually led to Thursday. Which is when Gibbs woke up gay.


End file.
